Wednesday, July 9, 2014


This is going to be one of those random, follow-the-train-of-my-thoughts posts.  Please make sure your seat belts are buckled and keep your hands inside the car at all times.

Last night it dawned on me that I may have spelled "teetotaler" wrong in my previous post, so I went and checked and no, I didn't.

Did you know that there is a hard core punk movement called "Straight Edge" that also consists of people who don't drink or do drugs?  I did not know this, and now I do.

Ted Nugent also doesn't drink or do drugs either.  I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this is probably pretty much the only thing that Ted Nugent and I have in common.

This then led me to reminisce about "The King Biscuit Flower Hour" on Sunday nights on the radio back in the late 70's and 80's.  They used to broadcast major concerts every Sunday night.  It was an awesome way to wind down a weekend-- and just about the only way I'd be willing to do homework on a Sunday night: with the radio on.

I then spent a bit of time remembering Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels--what good music.  And then I had that great little intro, "Fee fee fi fi fo fo fum..." in my head for a while.

I hummed that to myself while gazing at this enormous rash on my arm that I got from trimming an evergreen bush near my house.  My neighbor calls it "the Cousin Itt bush" because that's kind of what it looks like.

I really don't think that rash is going to go away anytime soon.  It doesn't itch or hurt, so that's good, but it's definitely there to stay for a bit.  

Did you know that Felix Silla, the actor who played the character of Cousin Itt on The Addams Family was also the stunt double for "Short Round" in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom?

I did not know this, and now I do.

I know that, as a small child, I loved the Munsters and the Addams Family.  Why don't they put quality shows like that on anymore?  My favorite time of the day was when the theme song played and I'd try to snap my fingers along with the Addams Family.

I wanted to be Wednesday.   I even loved that name, "Wednesday."  And her middle name was "Friday," for heaven's sake--how cool is that?  Why didn't my parents think of a name like that for me?  I just loved that she was definitely... different.

Wednesday Addams knew how to bring it.  Even as a small child, I felt that about her.

Her headless doll had a matching outfit.  Wednesday took the concept of My American Girl Dolls to a whole other place--and she did this before anyone even came up with the idea of My American Girl Dolls.

Hey, don't judge.  We didn't have Barney or Blues' Clues or Pee Wee Herman.  Looking back, I suppose it's not a huge surprise that I now read and write about gothic literature.

Did you know that Lisa Loring, the actor who originally played the character of Wednesday Addams, was at one point married to a porn star?  I did not know this, and now I do.

I discovered that if you put frozen blueberries, a frozen banana, some watermelon and (if necessary) a little bit of simple syrup in a blender, add ice and then push "grind," you will end up with a frozen slushie-type drink fit for a goddess.  Holy cow, is it good.  I could do that all day.  (There is absolutely no connection between this paragraph and the one that precedes it.  I warned you: we're meandering.  And when we accidentally meander in the direction of "porn," we quickly change direction.)

I went blueberry-picking this morning, even though I didn't think I would because the AC in my car has crapped out.  To the tune of mega-money needed to fix it.  It's going to get fixed on Friday, because there really isn't another option.

Somehow, we used to drive cars without AC and not care.  My first car didn't have AC.  Those days have clearly ended.

But blueberry picking started yesterday, and for some reason, I assume swarms of people will descend upon "my" blueberry patch and then I won't have any.  This has never happened, but that doesn't stop me from believing that it could.

And in the realm of all things unbelievable, I was actually interviewed in the blueberry patch by a reporter.  This really happened.  A reporter was doing a story on berry-picking and he wanted to interview me.

At first, I really didn't want to give him my name.  Once you've been stalked and e-pestered, you're kind of reluctant to give out any information about any place you frequent, for fear that you'll bump into people you'd really rather not see.  You just never quite get over that.  It changes your way of interacting with the world.  You feel like you're always scanning the horizon or looking over your shoulder and thinking about who will find out where you go and what they might do with that information.  Even years later.  It kinda sucks.

But then, after I chatted with him for a bit, he really wanted my name for his story.  I think it was because I began talking about all the great things you can make with blueberries.  Specifically, salsa.  I know he wanted that reference to blueberry salsa in his story.  I could feel it in my bones.  And I have friends who are reporters, so I know it helps if reporters can quote you by name. 

So I gave him my name.  And if I have to deal with any unfortunate encounters in my blueberry-patch as a result of this, I'm not gonna be happy.  I'll channel my inner child--and remember, we're talking Wednesday Friday Addams.

Breathe in... "I'm a flower"... Breathe out... "I'm a butterfly".... okay, the "angry moment" has passed.  Right now, I'm just thinking about the blueberry salsa that's resting in the fridge.

This is why there is a July.

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Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote, "Life is short, but there is always time for courtesy."